What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 02.07.2025 14:03
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
Can men enjoy receiving anal sex?
TEXT:
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
How do you deal with a neighbor stealing?
Make Nazis afraid again!
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
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And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
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In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
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Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
What would explain Trump blaming Ukraine for starting the war with Russia?
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
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Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
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Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
Which unexpected celebrity has done a bold or revealing photoshoot?
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.